10 weeks


I am healthy and happy and scared and excited.
I am not quite showing yet but my pants are getting tight.
I’m getting a pretty nice rack.
All I do is eat and sleep and work and repeat, with occasional laundry.
I dream crazy ass dreams all night.
I read about baby stuff till my eyes bleed daily.
I am truly looking forward to being a mommy.
I never thought i’d say those words.
I hope it’s a boy but anything healthy will do.

I don’t talk to my family.
Cal and my friends are my family, and they are simply the best.
I will be having a baby shower once we learn the sex.
No, I don’t want any surprises.
I am working a list of things to get cause i’m a planner.
My man is made of love and soft kisses and will be a kick ass daddy.
This will be our third year together.
I live in the greenest city in the nation and that rocks!
I want an all terrain stroller.

I eat more than ever.
I eat almost all organic, local, by default.
I am packed with prenatal vitamins, fish oil, and local berries.
I love Lorenzo’s beef ragu and eat it with bread.
I am 10 weeks pregnant and it hasn’t been bad.
A little motion sickness on the bus but very little actual vomit.
I occasionally get a fierce headache to remind me of water.

I am open to getting advice from other mommies.

I have the most international family / village ever.

Cal, my man, is soft and long and loving and amazing.
Sam, in San Fransisco, has chosen a blanket pattern and will knit.
Lorenzo Daliana, my chef, is a family man and lover of babies.
Jillian Rose knows it all and wears tiny cute dresses.
Marie Fleishman and T are in town and have two girls and are awesome.
Sandy Comes is here and cuts hair and is great at being fabulous.
Abra Hartley is uber practical and arranging the baby shower and birth and sometimes my sanity.
Ocia Hartley is always optimistic and laughs a lot.
Amanda, in Austin, writes and teaches and is eclectic and good.
Mark, the mad hatter, is a collector of hats and voodoo lore.
Cheryl is a damn good cook and an upright citizen mommy.
Martha Madness is the coolest young person and a great photographer.
Rachel, in Austin, is giving and loving and beautiful and talented.
Dancing Scott is dancing circles around all of us in Portland.
Lauryn, in Switzerland, is probably the sweetest thing in the world.
Allen Liggett makes music and cooks and lives and loves.
Bart, in Austin, is soon to be a daddy and writes but never sleeps.
Nick, in Houston, is still the finest example of a man that I know.
Jenn Daly is the builder of shrines and the lover of jazz and drinks.
Avi Hartman sings and tells jokes and laughs like no other.
Mike Freid is a cook a baker a builder a chess player and my hero.
Tori, my adopted mom, is so excited about being a grandma.
Etc, Etc, Etc…
I have all the family I need, and so will the baby.

I am not alone.
I will have a natural birth at home.
The baby will break my tailbone on the way out, without a doubt.
It will hurt.
I understand pain all too well and think I am prepared.

I write all the time.
You should subscribe to my blog if you wanna keep up.
Not much to see yet, but we can watch it grow!

At ten weeks a fetus can move and swim and dance about.
It’s joints are formed and is kicking ninja kicks.
It has fingerprints.
It can curl it’s fingers around things, like it’s own toes and such.
It weighs about 2gm and is only 2.3 cm long.
It’s little sex bits are almost all the way formed.
It can hear loud noises and can hiccup.
It’s tail is almost gone.
It is in fact, a tiny baby.

Love you.


5 Responses

  1. You make me laugh…(“I understand pain all to well and think I am prepared”)

    Well…..I don’t want to scare you but you don’t have any idea what this will be like. I have done all three of my children naturally and although I thought I knew what was going to happen, after reading and hearing stories and having an EXTREMELY high pain tollerance, I still didn’t have any idea until that first contraction came, what I was in for for the next 18 hours! Boy……it is not explainable to a woman who is having her first child. That pain is unlike anything you have ever felt before in so many ways. It is pain that is working for you and helping you. It is good pain and owwie pain. In the end…..it is not something you really remember obut then you know what it is like forever. You never REALLY forget!

    Sorry…I am not usually the brutally honest type but I thought you should know that no matter how perpared you are…you are never prepared for what the birth of your first child. It is scary, exciting, nervous and thrilling! It will be a wonderful experience. It has been for me all 3 times…and the 4th will be no different!

  2. I like the brutally honest ones! I have had plenty of fluffy advice and am rather bored of it already.

    I should be clear about understanding pain. I have had chronic pain in my entire digestive system since I can remember as I have extremely painful IBS. I don’t know what life is like without the feeling of digesting glass or battery acid. I am used to having to relax through pain so as not to pass out from it.

    That’s not to say that I have any idea what child birth will be like; no one does until they have experienced it. I am not afraid, however, and will not expect it to be something I cannot bare. I have made it through every day of my life with pain of 5 out of 10, so certainly I can live with 24 hours in 10 out of 10 pain!

    I know it will be worth it!


  3. I hope I didn’t sound rude! I just meant that this pain is different than anything! I have endomitriosis and “that” pain is excruciating! The pain of having a child is good because it works with your body to birth the baby! For some it is easier than others. I have heard horror stories and perfect births. Really….your story will be what it is and no matter what people tell you, you need to just relax and go with the flow. No need to be afraid of it….it has an end and gives you a baby! It will be one of the most memorable things you have ever done in your life so enjoy it. And…make sure you do it the way YOU want to. Don’t be pressured into hospitalS if you don’t want to. I am 2 weeks behind you and will continue to follow you closely as I am very excited for you!!

  4. No way you’re not rude! I’m super difficult to offend, and you didn’t even come close!

    I am excited and love this whole thing!

    No worries, pour on the advice!


  5. Ms Camille,
    You are one of the toughest ladies I know.
    This test of your pain threshold will increase your powers by 100.
    Our babies will play together one day and never know what their mommies give daily for them, and have given.
    But somewhere deep in the babies heads, as well as the daddies, we love the mommies for this sacrifice.
    And to the mommies it is unforgettable yet forgiveable pain.
    love ya kiddo.

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